My feet were tip toeing on the border of the deck
And you were laughing hard, crying my name
Screaming at the top of your lungs the memories of our sunsets together
And your laughter sent ripples through the water
Still like a morning wish
Ebony with the whispers of the mountains
And then you asked me to jump
To trump
All my fears
And to swallow all my pride
And to let the whirlpool of my insecurities drown me alive
To surrender to the all-consuming darkness
The stars underneath me danced up and down with your voice
Silver dust in a fanfare of joy
And I could feel the intensity of your gaze
Conquering the mysteries of a path unsketched
And I jumped
Despite wondering if all my demons
And terrors
And broken hopes
And all our ghosts from our pasts
Would pull us down into the unknown
I jumped
Because I knew I would not fight alone
I jumped
Because I didn’t want you to fight alone
We spent hours floating among the stars
Knotting a future together
That we knew would never exist
Because I wouldn’t dare to jump once more.
I just hate goodbyes
I just hate goodbyes
And I know now that I should have fought more for you
And I know now that I should have swum harder for you
Even if that meant sinking in my doubts
Even if the barriers of reality crushed my lungs
And burned my mouth
Because you made stars dance for me with your smile
Because we swam through a pool of liquid maybes together
I should have jumped once more.
Please remember spring
Please remember the warmth of the water
Please remember that I jumped once
Please know I should have jumped once more
